Let me take you back to a night that hit me like a ton of bricks — or a car.

St. Patrick’s day 2017 or the best day of my life. Tomayto, tomahto.

It was the beginning of spring break, I was hanging with friends. Me, being a carless freshmen, decided to walk my happy self to a park with a few friends.

If you ask me today why I was going to a park at night, I would not a have the slightest idea why. Just understand that I wasn’t very smart at this time — which makes complete sense.

BEEP BEEP! CRASH!

I lay in the middle of the road, my phone and left shoe was nowhere to be found. I was covered in road rash and could hardly stay awake.

Soon I was put into the same car that demolished me. In retrospect, I was doing fantastic for just being hit by a car. I mean, I limped up to the house on my own.

Thirty minutes passed before the police were contacted. This was because we spent a lot of time coming up with alternative things to tell our parents on why I was bloody and looked like death.

We seriously thought we could get away with telling my mom that I fell off a scooter. Yes, you heard that right … a scooter.

I don’t know why we actually thought a scooter injury would even closely resemble the injuries I sustained from being a hood ornament. Honestly, this is probably why freshmen get such a bad wrap.

But soon all was good. The ambulance showed up, and my mom was there.

Not to be full of myself or anything but I was looking pretty dang good, I had a fashionable neck brace on and sweat stains everywhere. I was also traveling in style.

Why rent a limo for $1,000 when you could just get hit by a car and ride in a ambulance for the same amount? A limo has nothing on needles piercing your skin and the cutting off of  your favorite shirt.

In all seriousness, I was fine. I had road rash that covered my legs and stomach, loss of hearing in my right ear and a concussion. But I gained something even better — superiority over everyone else because I got hit by a car and survived.

This year on St. Patty’s day I will look back and regret that I didn’t get hit with a bigger car.  

(Don’t try this at home kids. It was actually very painful and I don’t encourage this. And most of what I said was a joke.)

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